


Better Left Unsaid?

by ravyn_nevermore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bittersweet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Multi, One Shot, POV First Person, Pining, Pining!Sam, Sam's POV, married!destiel, newlywed!Destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5129933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravyn_nevermore/pseuds/ravyn_nevermore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel are getting married, but Sam has a hard time being happy for the couple. Castiel notices. Sam wants to lie about it, but he's had one too many glasses of champagne to lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Left Unsaid?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pattypixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/gifts), [BlueNeutrino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueNeutrino/gifts).



> Please bear with me. I'm terrible at titles and summaries. And it's been a long time since I wrote in the character's POV instead of third person. It's been even longer since I last wrote anything besides smut.

Today's the day. The day my brother Dean turns Castiel, Angel of the Lord, into Castiel Winchester, Angel of the Lord and husband. It was only four months ago that they got engaged. I was shocked at first. Dean has never been the white picket fence-life type. I forced a smile and congratulated them, locking myself in my room with Jim Beam and U2. Of course. Of fucking course. Because I didn't say anything sooner.

Four months is not a lot of time to plan and prepare for a wedding. Even a small wedding. Luckily, when we put the Darkness back in its place, Gabriel came back to help. He just so happened to being Michael- full of apologies and ready to join our side- with him. Slightly more surprising than that, Jody had adopted Claire in the teenager's best interest. But most suprising of all was that Chuck Shurley turned out to have been God all along. But despite all the insanity of everything that happened, with the Darkness gone, things seemed to settle back into their old habits. Just... we suddenly had a bigger family. I don't really know how Dean feels about it, but I think it's great. It's always been just Dean and me, and that's great, but I really missed having Bobby around. And Jo and Ellen. And Charlie. Sometimes, I even missed Dad. I know how bad that sounds, but it's hard to miss someone who was never really around. So expanding our family has been a blessing.

Donna was eager to help plan the wedding- not difficult given there was a whole nine of us and the ceremony would be held in a small town church as Cas had insisted. When all was said and done, everything has come out smoothly. For a simple, small wedding, it's actually beautiful. And here I am, pinning Dean's boutonniere on, not even sure I can watch this happen.

Dean smiles at me and claps me on the shoulder. "Thanks, Sammy. Do I look okay?"

Another forced smile. "Yeah, Dean. Not that it matters. Cas loves you even when you're bloody and torn up. That's what's important. Now, let's go get in place." I've never been the best actor, but I'm relatively good at pulling the wool over my brother's eyes.

I'm standing at Dean's side on the altar and soon Castiel is walking up the aisle. He looks so different in a white suit and no trench coat. But he looks absolutely beautiful. I swallow the lump in my throat and remember to play my role.

Everyone- myself included- is impressed with Dean's emotional and heartfelt vows. I gotta hand it to him: he's a deep son of a bitch when he lets himself. As I watch him slide that titanium ring onto Cas' finger, I feel something pull painfully inside of me. I remind myself that it's almost over. And it is. Side by side, Gabriel and I follow Dean out of the church.

I zoned out on the way to the reception, staring silently out of the back window of the Impala as the newlyweds cuddled up in the front seat. I know I'm supposed to be happy for them, but I don't remember the last time I've felt pain or loss like this.

The reception is easier to handle. Even though there's only nine of us, I'm not forced to focus on Dean and Cas. I make it through the champagne toast all right and follow it up with two more glasses of champagne before the dancing begins. I invite Jody and Donna to dance only to be thanked with them buying me shots in return. I offer a dance to Claire, but I am shot down with a cold, hard glare. So I settle for joining Gabriel and Michael at a table and talking to them for a while. But of course, Gabriel hands me a beer. I barely make it halfway through the conversation before I excuse myself to get some air outside.

Apparently, I stirred some concern because Cas steps up beside me and I nearly jump out of my skin. It's dark and quiet in this bar parking lot, and sitting on the curb didn't exactly open up my field of vision. "Jeee-zus!" I catch my breath from the start and clear my throat looking over at Castiel. "Warn a guy next time, will you? You walk quiet."

"Apologies," the angel murmurs with a nod. He shuffles closer and lowers himself to the curb at my right.

"Gonna ruin your nice white suit," I point out.

"It's a rental." "I'll clean it before I return it. Would you like to tell me what's bothering you? And do not lie because I can see it. I've been able to see it all day. Everyone can."

'Nothing. I'm just tired' is what I want to say, but I know that isn't going to fly. I hesitate, taking a deep breath, ready to fabricate a lie on the spot. But I don't. Instead, I tell Castiel everything. "It's been a painful day, Cas. It was hard to watch you marry my brother. Everyone probably thinks I'm worried you're stealing my big brother from me, but that's not it at all. I love you. And I'm so angry at myself for not saying anything sooner. I've had feelings for you since... Well, I think it was shortly after I got cured of my addiction to demon blood. I just... was always to afraid to say anything. You and Dean... And then I went without a soul and everything and--" I pause to sigh. "I thought you were like... asexual and aromantic or something, but then I saw changes in you and I guess... I guess I was just too late. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't be ruining your day like this. Everything has been perfect for you until now."

There's a long silence as I stare at the black pavement below me, wondering what my brother-in-law must be thinking of me. And then I feel a hand in mine. Stunned, I immediately snap my head up to look at Castiel.

"It's all right, Sam. I promise you, it's okay. I am sorry that you are hurting and I wish I could take that away. But Dean and I are married now. And he and I have always shared a more profound bond. I love your brother very deeply. But... You should know that I did have feelings for you at one time, too. I have loved both you and your brother... just at different times. And destiny did not work in favour of us, Sam, but in favour of Dean and me. I still care deeply for you, Sam, and I always will. But now... I care for you as one brother does to another."

I purse my lips and nod. I knew I'd be rejected, but Castiel always has a way of softening the blow. "Thanks, Cas." I consider saying something more, but Cas has leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. His are warm and sweet, just like the kiss itself. I close my eyes and sigh through my nose. The kiss is bittersweet, but even as Cas pulls away, I'm not left wanting more. I'm left feeling complete and fulfilled. With a sense of closure. I wonder if he's used his mojo to make that happen, but it doesn't matter. The pain is gone and I can be happy for my brother and his new husband.

"And thank you for making this wedding possible. We could not have done it without Jody and Donna, and we couldn't have done it without you. Finish getting your fresh air and please come back inside. I'm going to return to Dean." Cas smiles and stands up. He brushes off the seat of his slacks and returns to the bar's banquet room. I watch him go before turning my gaze to the stars with another sigh. There will still be someone out there for me, and at least I have a family now.

I stand up and brush my own trousers off before returning to the reception. I take a deep breath and smile my first genuine smile of the say as I return to the table occupied by two archangels. I clear my throat. "Hey, Gabriel. Do you dance?"

I'm met with a quirked eyebrow. "Horizontally, yes. Vertically? ...Also yes." Golden eyes crinkle as smooth, thin lips form a smirk. He stands and places his hand in mine. "Don't blame me if I step on your toes, Samguaro."

I scoff and lead Gabriel to the dance floor. It's time to move on. After all, everyone has their own angel, right?


End file.
